I remember thinking so much about the cold, how winter began us, and brought our end. I remember thinking about how strong I was choosing to stand outside all alone. It became clear that the overwhelming sense of ennui that existed even in the joy of summer was you. That all this time, I was my own passion, prosperity. It confused you how I stumbled out into the cold, naked and unafraid, wild, and so sure. I realize more and more every day that I really am in no need of you. You’ve always known this (my heart is still snagged on my sleeve). It seems you had this innate need to control me. Your prideful attempts to belittle my glory are what made me leave in the end.
The freedom of your soul is now hitched to my presence because love is war, only one of us can indeed be free. When you love, you are always considering someone’s freedom over your own – but not you. You just questioned everything, demanding answers to your interrogations and only sifting through the revelations you decided to accept.
Sometimes I would pray you found someone fit to love you, and on particularly difficult days, I’d push you right into their arms. You meant everything to me, but the minute we ended our commitment, you divorced our memories and fulfilled my self proclaimed destiny: to choose me – because you never kept me warm, my winter love.