MISS PARISIA B. ARCHIVES


Complications of Love

Deepening

I grabbed your soft essence and stroked it to full length. The motions were succinct and yet exactly what I wanted to say. Did you listen? Because I won’t have the courage to tell you again. “I miss you,” I said seductively. I missed you in ways I didn’t know were possible to get back.Continue reading “Deepening”

December Eighteenth

I have to let you go. It’s essential for me, almost crucial that I have you. And if I must give my love over to the possibility, uncertainty will hold my heart. I have to guard my soul against doubt. From the inevitable worry of your well being without me and fear of your resentment.Continue reading “December Eighteenth”

Leaving home

The further I stray from you, the more I can love you.I need for my heart to remain unhinged,to fail at love and discover a new way to let love in.I need to search for you in every man I come across,to convince them to love me so I can convince me that I amContinue reading “Leaving home”

Dear Winter Love

I remember thinking so much about the cold, how winter began us, and brought our end. I remember thinking about how strong I was choosing to stand outside all alone. It became clear that the overwhelming sense of ennui that existed even in the joy of summer was you. That all this time, I wasContinue reading “Dear Winter Love”

Between your world and mine

This exert is inspired by the concept of the body in Ta-Nehisi Coates’ book: “Between the World and Me.” A must read for understanding black identity in America. I was moved to write a letter on how this concept has reared its’ head throughout my life.

Dear Man with the Stories

The first piece in my dedication to Mary-Louise Parker and her book “Dear Mr.You”. It’s composed of letters to all the masculine figures in her life. What follows these coming weeks are the letters to mine. Enjoy 🙂

My dreaded remembrance

A Dozen Crows

A couple dozen crows migrated above me, cackling and cawing. It felt like it had been for me, their clawing for palms to rest upon and flapping through mangled stems, fighting its resistance, to get one un-cured olive. My eyes were fixed on the lack of scarcity in the sky, on the birds, wind, reachingContinue reading “A Dozen Crows”

A Most Familiar Day

Something has changed today.The cars are hushedThe breeze is boldThe sun is diluted for my eyes to hold.And I can smell the chlorine, the sap, and the fertilizer.I can hear the fountain, the conversation, the bees.It tastes like a childhood morning, full of nothing to do and going outside with a handful of sunblock.Something hasContinue reading “A Most Familiar Day”

Promised Healing

There is so much to discover over the edge. And if I could just reach it, if I could just walk forward with a spirit of expectance and float away from all that buries me, maybe I could expand myself endlessly. Wet soil grounds me, but when it settles, I become immovable, and that’s somethingContinue reading “Promised Healing”

Remembered Healing

When he left me, I somehow was able to remember you. And now that I’ve recognized, I see how he’s been a reflection of you. He drove me to sunsets, I first did that with you. He drove me to the edge, I first threw myself over for you. When did it become unsafe? WhenContinue reading “Remembered Healing”

The Dynamic Self

Cocooned Healing

And so you sit. You transform. You are unwounded and thats inspiring my darling…

Accepting

“What kind of day is today going to be?” I spoke to myself directly and succinctly, one that didn’t really warrant a response because, in a sense, I wasn’t asking, but demanding. I was desperately trying to call it out, whatever it was (it was you), and reel it in before it could suffocate theContinue reading “Accepting”

Committing

Life is good, pleasant. You are entering into a new beginning. One where you are unsure of how long you can hold on away from your element, before letting go, reverting, and re-adapting to the lessening of life within yourself. It’s entirely unclear which elements are most conducive for growth right now. It seems muchContinue reading “Committing”

Braving

Today I showed up. I don’t show up every day. Some days I can show up, but my body and soul revert against me. Other days I have every intention to show up but forget to leave everything else behind, forget it takes work, forget it requires blood. The other day I purposefully held myselfContinue reading “Braving”

Fermenting

Richard handed me a jar as to say, make yourself useful. I’m sure that’s exactly what he said, “make yourself useful,” no, he said, “please help out,” they’re the same to me. Everyone before me churned at the lid with lilting force. One woman gnawed on the corner of its opening like a dog chompingContinue reading “Fermenting”

Turmeric

And so after a night of celebrating the victim, I was jolted awake. Eyes wide with no evidence of what had demanded my consciousness. I opted for a second opinion as I gently folded my eyes shut.  Eyes open.  ‘Good morning,’ she whispered, is what I recall. Her unequivocal nature was to whisper, to gentlyContinue reading “Turmeric”

Growing out of Fear

Up north, the earth bares herself to you. She lets you take part in the matrilineal reign of the atmosphere. Her breasts rise high and droop down low to climb her peaks and explore the pastures below. She welcomes you to the edge of her bosom to cast down your tautness and assail your ennui,Continue reading “Growing out of Fear”

Lessons from Virginia & Richard

Something about me misses the desolate isolation of that city, the way it demanded absolutely nothing of me. Even the sun shone like it didn’t belong, forever cowered behind an iron community of clouds. Between those city lines, right off Bland and Jefferson, I found an existential bliss in my torment. No part of meContinue reading “Lessons from Virginia & Richard”

Millennial Black Woman

Cue the bath and the bubbles, mix in a mindset of relaxation, and a redundant decision to take time. Now violently reject what you know best and catapult in the opposite direction. I no longer want what I used to. However much that scares me; some part of it was always impending. Moments of stillnessContinue reading “Millennial Black Woman”

A Fall from Grace

Carrying the cost

For me to go back the way I came, For me to stop in the middle of this journey and turn away, It would cost me too much. So please be waiting with fighting arms and love grounding you. Please don’t ask for anything more Because I’m scared by my devotion to you. My willContinue reading “Carrying the cost”

Repurposed Love

I was intertwined in the campfire of your anointingwith candescent ash flickering in the melted streams of sun,I was taken by the shadowed blessing looming over this alter.Bushels prime for roasting,Sky wet with the dew of morningand you were nowhere to be found.Silent wind passing through,Crows falling from the skyand I was still filled withContinue reading “Repurposed Love”

This altar requires an offering but I can’t burn for you…

Our waves stole the show, but the wind subsided.Pieces of glass cut into the vastness of the shore until we were washed.Now they exist deep beyond, they’ve been given back to the sea, but our offering has been rejected.Our false accord rebuked.Forced to abandon the threshold that was forged and drift towards the ones weContinue reading “This altar requires an offering but I can’t burn for you…”

A Psalm of Undying Love

I urge myself to give the victory of my soul over to you,To acknowledge you as the defender of my heart,The champion of all my affections.For though life slips through my fingersYou’re what I’m able to hold onto,The only power that belongs to me.Oh, how I belong to you.In the deep meadow of my spiritContinue reading “A Psalm of Undying Love”

Burnt eyes and restored vision

Bereft of all your comfortsYou’ve caviled every last emberArdent enough to survive. Every burden bound to your bosomDiffuses throughout the skyMuddled with ash and mist.You aren’t who you thought you would be. Your kneesThis alterConvoluted with the other. It’s lonely here, onlyCracks and their companions.I’m exposed out here, exposing theCrumbled path crusted to my bareContinue reading “Burnt eyes and restored vision”

Birth of a Sacred Woman

Author Miss Parisia B. Sweet Girl,You have a million little worries hanging from your bosom.Your leaves are withering, and the moss is manifesting.Tan pronto.Stripped of heart. No longer swaying in the wind, still in the breeze and weak at the knees, ready to crack.Begging to bend and break just for a moment, only to forgetContinue reading “Birth of a Sacred Woman”

The Orgasm of Blue

Author Miss Parisia B. “But I shame you more than I appreciate you and that’s not love.” Along the way, we started to enjoy this disharmonious bliss. So scared to be alone, and genuinely unaware of the dying warmth beneath our palms. I thought I would live to love you, but now every mouthful isContinue reading “The Orgasm of Blue”

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